"X"

I wonder if all of this will be worth it

I know it's my own fault;
However, I'm trying my best
You have no idea how worth it she is
Every effort I put into this
Every mile I run as I chase her

I know she doesn't understand why
But love can never be explained
Feelings come, and they overwhelm you
They overthrow you
They control you
They consume you
And they fill you with blissful ignorance
Like your favorite drug

Despite advice from those around me
I keep sailing on this blissful ignorance
I keep taking this drug
If you asked me why
I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly
It's hard to put into words

I just know that this drug is worth taking
Maybe I'm an addict
But it isn't the feeling I'm addicted to
And that's where people get me wrong

If you asked me whether or not this was worth it
I would shrug
If you asked me whether or not she was worth it
I'd smile, and I'd reply, yes

In the grand scheme of things
We all wonder if something is worth it
If anything is worth it, really

It's hope that keeps us alive

Hope is skating me by

I'll be honest, though,
I do lose hope, at times
I get confused
I get conflicted
And I wonder what's going on
I wonder what's going to happen

Because it isn't up to me

I lie here with questions
I lie here with thoughts
I lie here with dreams
I lie here with desires
Things that eat away at me
Things you'll never know
Things I wish you knew

Because I'm lying, here,
Waiting for you

"X"

Your name covered my heart from front to back
And, now, I lack the strength to leave it all behind.

"X"

I let you down before
But I'm a different person, now
I understand if you don't believe me
I don't just want to tell you that I'm different
I want to show you
I'd show you everyday
Every second of every day
But I'll never have the chance
Because I let you down before
And, now,
You're gone.

"I promise"

How am I supposed to feel?

What do I say
  when my heart gets tied in a knot?

My heart beats so fast
  and then it sinks to my stomach
I can feel the sparkle in my smile
  slowly dissipate
The words that form
  when I open my mouth
Do they have any meaning,
  or am I lying?

No, I'm not lying, I'm just
  trying to move forward
Support goes a long way
  even when you have no strength
Being thankful for the moments
  we even get to speak
Those moments
  are everything to me

I'll keep my heart closed
  I promise
I'll smile
  because you're smiling
I'll be okay
  so long as you're okay

"X"

The way the sun illuminates
  every step you take
The vibrancy of color that
  submerges the world when you smile
The way shooting stars seem to
  go on for miles within your eyes
You're everything that's anything special
  to me; you'll always be

When dawn breaks
  serenading the sky with daylight
The way the wind makes
  all of the trees dance
Watching the dandelion seeds
  drift off to a new beginning
None of these things could ever compare
  to the bliss you used to bring to my heart

"Lost at Sea"

Somehow the ship has gone off course...
Was there ever a map to begin with?